It’s coming up to Red Nose Day, so instead of doing the ‘recommended’ crap of wearing stupid make-up or face-paint (there’s really no point since I rarely go out anywhere) I’ve decided to go with something a little more apt to my particular set of skills. And no, I’m not going to look for you, find you and kill you. This year it’s all about 5000 words.
First off though, what the hell is going with the world? Llamas on the run in Arizona, an old woman, who thinks she’s young ,falling down some stairs at the O2, and a rather fascinating debate on social media about the colour of a dress. These are the things making the headlines this week? Not that the unnaturally adorable Michael Sheen can make the perfect pavlova?
So what’s this about 5000 words?
Yeah, so I don’t do the whole wearing make-up/not wearing make-up thing for charity because I don’t wear make-up anyway and if I’m not going to be out of the house, what does it matter what’s on my face? But it’s always good to make an effort, so I’m going to attempt to write a short story of 5,000 words on Red Nose Day.
Why 5000 words? I’ve managed 5000 words many times before, mostly in Novembers for NaNoWriMo, so I know it can be done. I’ve actually managed 10000 words on a few occasions – although it tends to come out mostly as random nonsense that take a lot of re-writing. So 5000 words seems like a do-able target, especially since the kids will be at school for just over seven hours (thank you breakfast club), so there’s only the little one at home to keep me distracted.
Yes, David Walliams wrote a short story for this year’s Red Nose Day, and Daniel Kramer is writing ‘I am an idiot’ by hand as many times as he can, but Walliams wrote and published his book before RND and I’m not writing ‘I am an idiot’ 1250 times. I could, but I’m not going to, because I plan on getting my 5000 words up and available to buy here at least by the end of the Comic Relief show, with at least 50% of profits going to Comic Relief.
So please sponsor me. It’s all for a good cause, and you’ll get a warm fuzzy feeling for supporting me1.
1. Warm fuzzy feeling not 100% guaranteed. Effects may vary. Spontaneous combustion as a result of warm fuzzy feeling may be possible. Further study required. ↩